ukernelperson's Trove:Privacy policy

A Note Before We Start

This is a Schrodinger's Privacy Policy. Until someone actually inspects our server configuration it exists in two states at once, "we log everything forever" and "we log nothing at all". We do not publish our LocalSettings.php so there is no way for you to collapse that waveform. Do not trust the author. That includes this sentence.

What We Log

We log all IP addresses. Indefinitely.

We log all errors. Also indefinitely, including errors generated while logging other errors, which is a small infinite loop we have made peace with. This is, incidentally, exactly the kind of document nobody reads in full before agreeing to it.

What We Do With It

We do not sell your data. This is the one sentence in this document you are allowed to take at face value, right up until you remember we just told you not to trust us, which makes trusting this one sentence a little awkward. We are aware of the irony and have chosen to keep it anyway.

The Automaton

Below is a small finite state machine that models how a reader's trust in this policy evolves clause by clause. States are q0 naive, q1 suspicious, q2 resigned, and q3 accepting, meaning you have stopped asking questions.

State	Reads "logging"	Reads "sale"	Reads "waiver"
q0	q1	q0	q3
q1	q1	q2	q3
q2	q2	q2	q3
q3	q3	q3	q3

This table is not decoration. It is implemented at Template:Automaton and the calls below are live transclusions, not sample code, so what you see rendered is the template actually running against this page right now.

Step 1, starting state q0, reading clause "logging":

{{Automaton|state=q0|clause=logging}}

Result: q1

Step 2, feeding that result back in as the new state, reading clause "sale":

{{Automaton|state={{Automaton|state=q0|clause=logging}}|clause=sale}}

Result: q2

Step 3, feeding that result in, reading clause "waiver":

{{Automaton|state={{Automaton|state={{Automaton|state=q0|clause=logging}}|clause=sale}}|clause=waiver}}

Result: q3

Every reader who makes it through all three clauses lands on q3 and there is no transition defined back to q0. This is not a metaphor, it is the actual output of the actual template, computed by the actual wiki software rendering this actual page.

Yes, It Is Also Turing Complete, Sort Of

Nest a self calling template like Template:Loop enough times, using #if for branching and #expr for arithmetic, and you get read, write, and conditional branch over effectively unbounded storage. That is the informal bar for Turing completeness, and it is not a new idea. The same informal argument has been made rigorously for C++ template metaprogramming and, more surprisingly, for the trading card game Magic: The Gathering, where optimal play was shown to be at least as hard as the Halting Problem. The only real limit on this policy's computational ambitions is $wgMaxTemplateDepth, which we treat as a constraint of the server rather than a limit on the policy.

Fine Print

If a court strikes down a clause of this policy, the rest keeps going, and the struck clause keeps existing in our logs anyway since logs are records of what happened, not clauses of the policy, so there is nothing left to strike. Nothing here expires just because the site does.

DO NOT TRUST THE AUTHOR.